What do you get when you take a Hotel Lounge and add a fire place, 2 men in fuschia underpants, 3 blondes and a bottle of pink champagne?

... Brunch in Shoreditch Darling

It's been a while since I have woken up before going to bed on a Sunday, fully clothed (or totally naked depending on the context) and staggered straight to the nearest Greasy Spoon, pausing only to wash my mouth out with a swill of vodka.

Today, thankfully was no such day, having risen in a very civilised manner in the leafy suburbs of North West London.

For two of East London's more flamboyant residents however, it appeared to be exactly that sort of Sunday. A very tight pair of raspberry cord trousers, jiggling next to a very ripped pair of jeans (revealing a peak of very tight pink unders) caught our attention as we settled into leather sofas right next to the fire in the Hoxton Hotel.

We were momentarily distracted by the menu until with a shriek Ripped Jeans stripped off his skin tight black shirt, declaring it 'Filthy' before whipping it around his head ala Brokeback Mountain and hurling it into the fire next to us. Thankfully it wasn't a Primada special and didn't explode into a burst of acryllic pyrotechnics, instead favouring an elegant Poof and Fizzle. Oh and a waft of Eau de Tom Ford.

And so we met the neighbours...

Somewhere in between Eggs Benedict and Earl Grey Tea, Ripped Jean's side kick slid over and perched one of his raspberry coloured butt cheeks on the arm of our couch, waving a bottle of pink champers in our direction. It turns out Raspberry Butt Cheek (RBC) hails from Sicily with dubious business ventures in Brazil and Colombia. Who knew food import and export could be so lucrative?

At some point, in a pause between his elegant lobbing of our sugar cubes at Ripped Jeans, RBC managed to completely floor our hereto impeccable Gaydar, by desperately trying to lure Melissa to a hotel room for a shower. Thankfully the appearance of the very anxious and unimpressed looking Manager distracted him long enough for us to escape.

Truthfully in this instance, I can't tell you a tremendous amount about the food as the company was far too entertaining, but then again who needs food when in the immortal words of RBC ... 'ave you hever 'ad Tequila for breakfast?'

Clearly the man was onto something - we haven't had so much fun at breakfast in ages...

....you should try it sometime.

The Hoxton Grill @ The Hoxton Hotel
81 Great Eastern Street
London EC2A 3HUWebsite
How to Get There
Some retrospective useful info...
Full breakfast menu until 12pm, Bruch til 4pm